Progress

For some people what I am about to share is not a big thing but I recently made a change in my practice that has taken me a long time, 4 years to achieve.

As a male, most people do not think that we have 'body issues'.

As my blog suggests, I am not your stereotypical yogi.

I have always been self conscious about my weight and body shape and size.

So for me, wearing a singlet and only occasionally taking it off during the floor series, when my next breath was likely to be my last (probably 3-4 times in 3 years) has been part of how I practice. There has been no pressure on me to take it off in class - we are all at various stages in our yoga journey.

I have made a more concerted effort in the last few months, along with my wife to eat cleaner and reduce my reliance on sugar.

I don't want to get into any debates on the pros and cons of sugar, no sugar, artificial sweeteners and the like. I have found a process that works for me and I seem to have dropped a little more fat from my frame.

Recently when we went to Wollongong I had been toying with the idea that I felt more comfortable with my body and weight. My wife suggested that as no one in Wollongong would probably know me, if I was ready I could practice 'topless'.

The first class was a shocker, I felt hot, nauseous and sat out quite a few postures - singlet still on.

Next class, I decided just before class to try a class with my shirt off...and I survived.

My name is Peter and it has now been 8 classes since I wore a singlet.....

It has been confronting to see myself and Bikram and his teachers are right...there is no where to hide...the truth stares back at me from the mirror....

But it also makes me now try harder - especially to suck my stomach in - and I see a new aspect to my practice. It is quite humbling, because my singlet could smooth over some of the flaws in my practice...but a middle aged man in just lycra yoga shorts equals no where to hide...the truth is there in front of me.

Progress...I wonder where this will take me next

Everybody has a story...

Recently at Bikram Yoga Woolloongabba Benn Lees the teacher was telling us about some of the health breakthroughs that some of the students had experienced.

He then said something like "...everybody has a story..."

I have thought somewhat about what my story might be.

I can't lay claim to have had any healing miracles. My journey often appears to be one of progress, plateaus, setbacks and then more progress and so on.

I often do not see any progress and some days, honestly, it feels like I am starting all over again and the body feels like I am made out of concrete and, yes, I sometimes get sore after I practice.

So, I have been thinking a little about my story, because of a few things that have happened recently.

My wife and I went back to Wollongong, a city in New South Wales, where we both grew up as my father is unwell.

We had the opportunity to practice at Bikram Yoga Wollongong and catch up with two teachers Marc and Christina who had taught us for a period of time at Bikram Yoga Capalaba. Louise made the comment that they would see big changes in my practice, that I poo-pooed, because I felt like I was going backwards. She told me that she wasn't making up stories and that they would see it for themselves.

Also, recently another teacher complimented me on my postures and said that she would like to get me to  demonstrate Half-Moon one day, and before I could think I already heard myself say "Thanks, but please don't today...."

Another teacher recently, gently, suggested I should stop hiding towards the back of the class and practice in the first two rows because as a more experienced student I should be towards the front assisting newer students by them observing the more experienced students.

I have had the opportunity to explain to family, friends and colleagues why I willingly go into a room heated to 40C for 90 minutes several times a week...

So my story is that:
Over the last four years I have willingly participated in hundreds of Bikram Yoga classes in various countries. It is something that my wife and I enjoy doing together. We have met some wonderful, dedicated teachers and students who have become friends.

I have progressed physically over the last four years and my postures are steadily improving as I try to stay more present and put the dialogue into practice.

I have been able to deal with the stresses and strains of my work and life in general a lot better.

I am much more flexible than I was when I started. I am still progressing, and learning to overcome my mind and my personal challenges and obstacles.

Being more aware of my body means that I am more committed to my health and this has flowed on what what I eat and how I nourish my body.

It amazes me that after 4 years, I still go to Bikram Yoga yet I don't like the sub tropical summer heat and humidity of Brisbane, although I do deal with it a lot better thanks to Bikram Yoga.

If I can do it...anyone can.